After All This Time was released in 2023. It was recorded at Hyde Street Studios in San Francisco, CA with Evan Wardell and at Garland Lane by John Elliott. It was mastered by David Glasser at Airshow Mastering. All songs by John Elliott (BMI) 2023.

Piano, Vocals, & Keyboards by John Elliott

Album Artwork by Meredith Leich

YOU CAN RUN

eyes up

it's over

a universe is lost

it's not a disaster

it's only ending

you can run you cannot run forever

you can run you cannot run forever

MY FAMILY

my family came from germany, nineteenth century, far across the sea, from germany 

what makes us wander around?

what makes us wanna settle down?    

what makes a difference? 

i'm not gonna give up, i’m not

i'm not gonna give up, i’m not

i'm not

so what was germany before my family came across the sea, 19th century?

they were moving around, they were glory bound 

then they were refugees in the 4th century before they were germany

what makes us wander around?

what makes us wanna settle down?    

what makes a difference? 

i'm not gonna give up, i’m not

i'm not gonna give up, i’m not

i'm not

i don't have kids, i should have kids, all of those things i did, i should have a lot of kids

i should have a lot of kids

and if i did, i'd have a family, 21st century, next to another sea, far from germany

and if those kids had their own their kids and then those kids had their own kids

and then those kids had their own kids 

i'd be the same to them as my family from germany, 19th century, is now to me

what makes us wander around?

what makes us wanna settle down?    

what makes a difference? 

i'm not gonna give up, i’m not

i'm not gonna give up, i’m not

i'm not

NEVER HAD A HOME  

i've had chances, i've had luck, i've had friends who care for me

i've had reasons to give up and a loving family

i've had places where i lived with a zip code and a bed

but i never had a home until now

i've been all around this planet, i've been hot and i've been cold

i've been inside the offices where lives are made and sold

i've had a lot of nothing and i've had some poor man's gold

but i never had a home until now

when my arms were empty i had nothing left to lose

no one to come back to and nothing left to lose

now that i have something i wanna keep and own

i understand how easy it was just to be alone

first i sat inside a church and i heard the preacher growl

then i traveled in a caravan and i heard coyotes howl

i lost myself in nonsense and i barely made it out

'cause i never had a home until now

then i lived inside the city and i learned the underground

then i made it to the mountains and i hated what i found

i prophesied and plundered through the valleys and the towns

'cause i never had a home until now

i found the fancy scene, i was cool and i was quick

i learned their names, they took me in, i was thin and i was hip

then i lost it all one summer and i really paid for it

and i never got it back, not even close to what i had

no i never got it back, not even close

all the stars are empty, all the stars are dead

all the animals are dying, all the news is full of dread

there are reasons to be angry, there are reasons to be scared

there are reasons to believe in love that isn't even there

i've had women treat me rough and women treat me well

i've had women take their time with me, and women kiss and tell

i've had women scratch my skin and women tell me true

but i've never had a home until you

no, i've never had a home until you

TRANSFORM INTO A NEW LIFE

i like the long way, i like to take my time

a shadow passing slow enough to see

step by step i get where i am going

day by day i end up somewhere new 

we are barely here at all before we're gone

i thought about it, i turned it inside out

a ghost of a memory that haunted me and you 

i see those pictures now and i know that we were there 

i look at them like insects

we were barely there at all before we left

we were barely there at all before we left

we were barely there at all before we left

transform into a new life

live and life decays

i am only grateful

i am only grateful nothing stays

i am only grateful

I am only grateful nothing stays

high above the water, the valley down there below

what secrets did you keep? i want them all to know 

how deep it was inside of me, how hard it was to breathe

how hard it was to breathe

how we both needed shelter, that was all

and so it was provided, essential and enough, until it wasn't there at all anymore

it wasn't there at all anymore

a fingernail crescent on my arm

you never meant me harm, but you hurt me

so i got mad and i got free

offices and vehicles imprisoning

so i got sad and i got free

i got free

i got free

i got free    

it's not as if i knew it at the time

i saw i was wounded, i could not predict it

of all the skin my fingers traced how many movies made would never be erased?

of all the skin my fingers traced how many movies made would never be erased? 

i always mean it in the moment

i always mean it at the time

always in the moment 

and always at the time 

all that changes is my mind

all that changes is my mind

all that changes is my mind

transform into a new life

live and life decays

i am only grateful

i am only grateful nothing stays

i am only grateful

I am only grateful nothing stays 

OPENING UP

from the canyons of computers

through the sunset and the dawn

they are telling what they think is true

and whose side they are on

there's a shadow in the alley, the boys are talking tough

it's opening

it’s opening up

it was a season of silence, people trailing their kills

it was a matter of time, it was a battle of wills

there's no contract stipulation, there is no pre-nup

it's opening

it’s opening up

still the lessons are unlearned, still the forest is ablaze

still the money that you earn is not enough

the light has turned to green, the greed has turned to rust

it's opening, it's opening, it's opening up

if we tried i guess we failed, if we failed we may have lost

lost it all and lost for good, we didn't even cover costs

we ran all the numbers, we ran 'em again

and we didn't have enough

it’s opening up

the misinformation is coming too fast

the ignorance is certain to last

the country is desperate, the city is rough

it's opening

it’s opening up

what we thought we had was wrong, it was vile and it was crude

it lied to us, it played us good

and still we fought for blind men

so mean and so corrupt

we're opening, we're opening, we're opening up

now we're stuck and we're distraught, we’re dumber and we're stick

we lost the plot, we're out of luck, we couldn't make it stick

we're out of water now, we've all got too much stuff

we're opening, we’re opening up

whatever is next, it's coming in hot

some folks are prepared, most folks are not

there's smoke in the breeze and there's poison in your cup

you're opening, you’re opening up

BACK TO THE MIDDLE

i'm going back to the middle, that's where i wanna be

i'm going back to middle if i have to leave

where whatever they tell you is whatever they mean

i'm going back to the middle, that's where i wanna be

in the finest of cities they're all walking so proud

they're all standing in lines, they're all talking too loud

well you get what you pay for 'till you gotta get out

i'm going back to the middle where i won't have to shout

when i came here i had nothing

it'll take the rest of me

after all of these times and all of my crimes

i'll be free

i'll be free

i'll be free

now i don't know what's coming and i won't say what was

if they ask me or wonder i will say just because

it gets cold by the desert, it gets cold by the sea

i'm going back to the middle, that's where i wanna be

OLD FRIENDS

it's good to see my old friends doing well

the situations left behind, the seasons when they fell so far

you give up or you get up and you turn into who you are

and it's good to see my old friends doing well

it's good to see my old friends growing strong

they’re still the souls i love

but they have changed in ways it's almost hard to speak of

their sentences are shorter, but their paragraphs are long

and it's good to see my old friends growing strong

all this time… all this time… all this time…

and still we're here

all this time… all his time

they knew me at my worst, i was broken, i was cursed

i almost didn't make it, but i did

they held me up and walked with me 'till i could walk again

and it's good to see my old friends doing well

it's good to see my old friends gotta go

we're always moving around 

in the air and through the towns, it seems

if you stay around too long you just forget about your dreams

and it's good to see my old friends gotta go

and it's good to see my old friends growing strong

and it's good to see my old friends doing well

TIME GOT AWAY

well the first time that i thought of her she came to me so quietly 

so calmly like a wrecking ball, calmly like a wrecking ball, calmly to me

and the second time i saw her she could twist around her lisp

she was borrowing those bracelets and giving me those eyes 

watch out for the young ones, watch out for ‘em 

time got away from me so easily

running wild and free so easily

oh my friend, we were so young then

oh my friend, we were so young

we didn’t know then it could get so bad and it could get so good

over and over, over and over

over and over

and the only thing i miss now is a thriller on a throne

and some friends to sit right next to me so i can’t be alone

i still wonder what comes next, yes, and i still worry

it was dangerous for a little bit, but not enough to hurt me

you gotta trust me when i tell you i’m not in a hurry

there’s too many places to get lost in, there’s too many forests

time got away from me so easily

running wild and free so easily

oh my friend, we were so young then

oh my friend, we were so young

we didn’t know then it could get so bad and it could get so good

over and over, over and over

the truth is when i’m far enough away i can’t remember this

the truth is when i’m far enough away i don’t remember this at all

i don’t want to remember it

ALL IS LOST

it's been a long time now since we where young and proud

since we were running around this city

and all the open roads have now been closed

the stupid shame of all that pity

i don't need to ask again or even know

why said you'd had enough and had to go

i'll just take it slow, take it slow

give myself another minute

let it go, let it go

all is lost and all's forgiven

i'll let you stand alone and i'll let you be

i'll be the only friend who tells you what it needs to be

let your hair hang down, let a long breath out

and don't worry about the reasons why you're here

if there's one thing i imagine it's that we'll never be that lost

i've got real love inside me and i've got all the time i want

i've got real love inside me and i've got all the time i want

recall the softer days

the endless nights, the long lit haze

remember when we didn't know a thing

it was just easier that time, it was just easier that time

it was just easier that time, it was just easier that time

you don't anything about me

give me your word, i'll give you mine

i've got real love inside me and i've got nothing but my time

i've got real love inside me and i've got nothing but my time

time is not enough to tell me why it didn't work it out

no one owes me anything and i don't owe anyone anything

my dentist takes beautiful pictures of wildlife, specifically birds, beautiful photography, and he sends them into magazines and competitions, he says, "it's important to me. relevancy is important to me,” and he never wins so whenever i go visit him he shows me his beautiful photography and then he cleans my teeth and i am affected by the beautiful photography and i wonder why he never wins, why nobody ever recognizes him besides me…

and i think about relevancy

and i think about relevancy

and i think about relevancy

i know that i am gonna die soon, relatively

and i hope when i do someone thinks of me like i think of my dentist's photography

back where i started, back where i fell

back where i told the truth and lied as well

i'm sorry now, i'm sorry now, i'm sorry now, i'm sorry now

from here on out i will be steady

from here on out i will be kind

i've got real love inside me and i've got nothing but my time 

i've got real love inside me and i've got nothing but my time

i'll just take it slow, take it slow

give myself another minute

let it go, let it go

all is lost and all's forgiven

take it slow, take it slow

give yourself another minute

let it go, let it go

all is lost and all's forgiven

NOTICING

i am noticing i recognize returning

it's time for spring again

it's springtime finally

a diamond ring, i understand committing

it's time to grow again

it's time, i know

eternity is just a word to me

i don't believe

i won't believe

i can't believe mythology

every fairy tale has a disappointing ending

but they all begin so promising

they always start so good

reality is all a dream to me

the breezes whispering

the trees just reaching for the sun

and to know that sun is not the only one

who needs a fairy tale when that is true? 

All words written by John Elliott 2023.